Picture this: it’s 11 a.m. You’re the first to arrive at your team meeting. At 11.15, you’re still waiting for four of your co-workers to show up. Two never do. Nobody knows why. Your talking points are virtually the same as last week’s: most items show no progress, though the topic owner spends most of the meeting talking and pointing fingers at other team members—probably the very ones who skipped out on the meeting in the first place. At noon, you’ve covered about half the agenda, and no real progress was made. Here’s a hard truth: your meeting is not the problem. Your team is.

To build great products, you need a great team. Fostering great teams takes work, especially in times when we see less and less of each other. As a leader in any capacity, you will need to recognize when your team isn’t doing so well. It is your job to get them back on track.

The importance of anti-patterns

An anti-pattern is a common response to a recurring problem that is usually ineffective and risks being highly counterproductive. The term, coined in 1995 by Andrew Koenig, was inspired by a book called Design Patterns, which highlights a number of design patterns in software development that its authors considered to be highly reliable and effective.

At the other end of the spectrum, you will find these so-called anti-patterns, which are the antithesis of productive and helpful.

If you are a team lead, coach, scrum master, CEO, you name it, you are going to want to be able to recognize collaboration anti-patterns and put your team members back on the right track as soon as they occur. Your team(s) will be happier and more productive and your output will be better. So let’s not waste any more time and dive into the four common anti-patterns.

Anti-pattern 1: Lack of trust and psychological safety

First and foremost, your team members need to feel safe. If they don’t feel like their peers mean well, they will be afraid to take risks, speak up, share concerns, questions, and ideas. Just imagine how many great ideas and concerns end up on the cutting room floor because people are afraid to speak up.

A few warning signs

Team meetings are all work and no play. Blame and no praise. If you notice that people only ever talk about work, or you always see the same people talking in meetings, and that praise is sparsely being given to other team members, ring the alarm. When people are afraid to speak out, they will struggle on their own rather than admit they’re stuck, get overwhelmed, and only speak out when the damage is done and they get called out. You will need to do a lot of emotional damage control, which is no fun and ineffective.

What you can do

Guess what? Establishing trust takes time. There is no quick fix.
Carve out time to get to know each other, forget about optimal efficiency for a little bit, try to have some fun. Once you get to know the person behind the team member, it will be easier to attribute unpleasant behavior to the environment or circumstances (like a tight deadline), rather than an unpleasant character (Carl sucks!).

Some exercises or things you can try:

• Start meetings with a check-in or icebreaker round. Usually, this only takes 5 to 15 minutes. Over time people will share more. It will create opportunities to get to know your colleagues in a different way and build shared routines. In one team we grew a team Spotify list over time, populated with our favorite songs to start the day, our favorite songs to let off steam, the first ever record we bought, and so on
• Try “washing instructions”: each team member writes down what they need to be the best version of himself and what you should avoid. Like washing instructions: “do not bleach” or “wash with similar colors”.
• Lead by example. Dare to be vulnerable by admitting you need help and that you don’t have all the answers either. This sets the stage for the members to follow suit.

Anti-pattern 2: Avoiding conflict or debate

A second common anti-pattern is avoiding conflict or debate. A team that can engage in healthy conflict and have passionate discussions will produce the best possible solution in the shortest time.

A few warning signs

Don’t be fooled by teams that have a lot of fun together: they might avoid tension just to keep it that way. Unfortunately, things will start to bubble up to the surface eventually, leading to tension, gossiping, and frustration. Some teams will try to avoid conflict by simply agreeing with the person with the highest rank, pay-grade, or the most seniority every time.
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What you can do

Acknowledge that conflict is productive and healthy. Train yourself to facilitate meetings and use humor to acknowledge tension and work through conflict in a healthy way.

Retrospectives are a great way to surface disagreements, frustrations, or topics that require debate, but you have to remind your team members that no matter what, you have to believe that everyone did the best job they could, given what they knew at the time, their skills and abilities, the resources available, and the situation at hand. If things do go south, be ruthless in addressing toxic behavior.

Anti-pattern 3: Being unable to commit

Some teams are unable to commit as a team: they can’t make clear decisions and they are unable to define common standards and adhere to them. They do not seek real buy-in on any decisions and standards. Often, decision making is poor: there is no clarity on the why, what, and how. Commitment is very different from consensus...

A few warning signs

You will most likely recognize this one: commitments are not made by the team but for the team. We’re talking major deadlines and goals from higher up, without any input from your team. Been there, done that? Or how about coming out of a long, draining meeting thinking a consensual decision was made, only to see ambiguity pop up like a game of whack-a-mole.

What you can do

Set an example by consulting your team, asking plenty of questions, and try to avoid making decisions on the spot without buy-in. At the end of a meeting, review key decisions, and put them in writing. It does away with ambiguity and actively encourages group members to participate in the decision-making process. Stick to meeting formats that spark conversation and make sure to include the more passive actors in your team.

Anti-patterns 4: Lack of Accountability

This anti-pattern is about—and pardon our French—owning your shit. Team members shouldn’t be afraid to hold each other accountable for their performances. Peer-to-peer accountability is an immensely powerful tool to drive collaboration. As a leader, you should be ready to call people out, in a public setting, if their performance is not as expected.

A few warning signs

Some of these are subtle, but there are a few warning signs that indicate that lack of accountability is running rampant in your team. When people forgo giving direct feedback and come directly to you instead, that’s a red flag. If someone is dominating the meeting and no one ever interferes, that’s problematic. Or how about this crowd favorite: the asshole rock star. Don’t tolerate toxic behavior just because someone excels at their job.

What you can do

Create a feedback habit. Most of us have not been trained to ask for and give feedback, and many of us both crave and fear it. Create feedback moments regularly, and make them fun. Feedback and praise are two faces of the same coin. Don’t neglect either. Discuss and set team goals and then use them in retrospectives to seek continuous improvement. Grow as a team and reap the benefits.

In conclusion‍

As a team member, you have an impact and can change behavior and create new habits: spot the warning signs, try out different formats, and be deliberate in your efforts. If needed, seek out the support of leadership.

In leadership, it is our job to shape the context and environment in which people and teams can do their best work. How we show up and how we behave sets the norm for our team members. It is our obligation to model the behavior we expect and to lead by example.

Learn to spot the warning signs for anti-patterns and take action. Step by step, you and your team will become the best you can be!